Date: 2009-09-19 08:44 Subject: Never, ever, ever, judge a book by it's cover! Security: Public Location: The Spiral Mood: Slipping Away Music: Halo 1-27

I took a look through the Rolling Stone last night.  Colbert is on the cover, which is probably the best cover this year, a huge improvement from the Jonas brothers.  But inside is written the worst bit of news I have read lately (worse than Disney buying Marvel, although still I weep).  NIN is on it's last tour.  Yup, the most innovative musical ensemble since Beethoven will be no more.  Say goodbye to picking up an album that the general populace wont understand (until the wannabes make their copies), say goodbye to well thought out instrumentals, say goodbye to the best thing to fight the music industry.  I understand, Trent is 44 after all, but who will write the soundtrack for the rest of my adult life?  I became who and what (?) I am due to NIN, Trent made me feel ok because someone else knows exactly what is going on in my head and made music that reflects it perfectly.  Here's an example;
-Pretty Hate Machine - Getting over puberty.
-Broken - Entering into high school.
-Downward Spiral - Fighting to be me.
-The Fragile - Just got separated.
-With Teeth - Reconstructing my life.
-Year Zero - Starting to look outside myself, into the world around me, and getting pissed off about it.
-The Slip - Accepting that the world hates me, and that's ok really...

It seems that each of these albums came out at precisely the times that I was in crisis, with the perfect content and sound.  Maybe NIN doesn't do that for you, but there might be those out there who do understand.  So Trent: thank you.

Date: 2009-08-28 18:47 Subject: meme? Security: Public

I am a noun.

Date: 2009-08-28 05:18 Subject: proof of disappointment Security: Public

Interesting, within an hour my view on female sexuality has been hit seven times, and all I did was walk home at 4am and then check my facebook.  I now honestly believe that men are not the perverted pigs stigma says we are, it is the girls, otherwise 16 year olds wouldn't be sucking it in bushes, nice guys would get laid more, clothing would cover things and assholes would be forced to rent whores.  But I see assholes dragging sweet girls into bushes cause they are too drunk to walk all the way home.  Honestly, it depresses me.  How can I hope to be fulfilled when everyone I see is dirtier than I would ever wish to be?  I guess I am a prude.

Date: 2009-08-25 11:38 Subject: New blogspot, for geek stuff Security: Public Location: http://ricalopia.blogspot.com/ Mood: creative Music: well, you know...

I just set up my new blogspot for models, nWo stuff and what-have-you.  (I freakin love that phrase; what-have-you)...

http://ricalopia.blogspot.com/

Date: 2009-08-16 12:36 Subject: Something for my other addiction Security: Public Mood: Burning Music: Hell Yeah - Bloodhound Gang

As you all know, I am an audio junkie.  There are things like bass and symphony that riles me up.  So guess what; I'm practicing spinning staffs and the like.  Yeah, I hit myself every so often, but less in the face lately, which is good.  Working on my fire staff, there is a bit to do on it yet and supplies needed.  Now, I also have a lightstaff, (complements of Sam and Nick, with which I will terrorize ravers) and my clear rod which I have decided to use as my contact-juggling piece.  As soon as Imogene gets here I'm off to spin IN DAYLIGHT!

Date: 2009-08-14 09:32 Subject: some corperate democracy for you all Security: Public

http://mapper.nndb.com/start/?map=1665

Date: 2009-08-12 17:41 Subject: Dreams Security: Public

I awoke today from a dream.  There was other things going on, dream weirdness mostly.  I was at BRC, before the city was up, the ground was still drying, a combination of mud patches and dust.  The smell is what caught me, I awoke with playa in my senses.  NEXT YEAR!

Date: 2009-08-11 14:48 Subject: A Contest, of sorts Security: Public Location: The Rabbit Hole Mood: devious

The Great Xenos Race:

This appears to be a facebook event, although I doubt it will stay there long...

Basically I am requesting that everyone I know create an original alien race.  Create a description, background and abilities for said race, and send it to me with any art and/or game rules (nWo of course).

All the races sent in will become part of the nWo universe, the winner (selected on September 21st) will become the pro/antagonist in the Transcendence campain, as well as be given some sort of prize T-shirt maybe?)

Date: 2009-08-07 17:18 Subject: war brings us together Security: Public Mood: plotting

it's true, war is a good thing when its in my living room.
i'm not talking atrocities here, just some good old dice rolling.  war at the rabbit hole is tomorrow, and i'm stoked.  maybe i will celebrate a little this year, with a blitzkreig.

Date: 2009-07-28 09:58 Subject: its been a while.... Security: Public Mood: burning

new house.
old rabbit.
disenchanted with life in general, maybe its the heat.  no, i doubt there is anything "wrong" with me, i just don't want to work out a jedi trip, collect the people and fight with my boss for the time off.  besides, i don't really think turning thirty is worth celebrating.  think about it;  when my confidence is up, i celebrate myself, and that is all that is required.  if anyone honestly wanted a pixie party, they would be fighting my decision, but they ain't.

so this year i will do what i do to christ's b-day, and kinda wish i did to the rest of em, just ignore it.  this doesn't mean i will be ignoring other folk's celebrations, just not mine or christ's.

i need some spice, a new schedule, and some fire....

Date: 2009-07-14 10:59 Subject: some bad news Security: Public

 i don't think there will be a pixie party this year. 
which kinda makes me sad.

Date: 2009-07-07 13:10 Subject: Looking around for a lair... Security: Public Mood: fortified

I hate moving, and i'm sure i have spoken of such things before, but it really pisses me off.  this time around i will be gifting myself with those cases i have been needing, (which numbs it a little bit at least).  my primer died, it was threatening to pour all morning as i killed it.  then, as the last coat it would ever spray was dry, it rained.  the force is strong.

the sheer amount of hobbying happening in my house is awesome!  (although, the more daemons that materialize the more guns i will need), sam's skills are inspiring, it would almost be a shame to shoot the little daemons.  it remains to be seen what the fortress (which is the new project) will fare, but the amount of random stuff i gleaned from those sprues is awesome.  damn, i need to kill stuff.

Date: 2009-07-03 10:17 Subject: Behind the mirror Security: Public

I realized something, my ideas are awesome.  Mind you, I gift these thoughts freely, and often they are used.  Later, I overhear compliments about them, but not to me.  I like it this way, the spotlight is removed from me, (I detest light) and the compliments are still heard.  Otherworld opened this realization to me, as the ideas I brought were an amazing success.  They probally wouldn't have been if I tried to do them myself, but the abilities of others (mainly Sam) are more than enough for my vision to manifest.  To be honest, I do not want the gratitude for just an idea, a mere thought.  Those who manifest those ideas deserve the thanks, it is thanks enough to see it happen.

So, to all those who have run with "that which has come from my head", thank you for the realization of my fantasy.

Date: 2009-06-30 13:17 Subject: Waking up Jedi Security: Public

Holy crap, that was amazing!  I took a trip to Otherworld this weekend, I am now three burns old.
The overwhelming senses of accomplishment, gratitude and love I has felt the last three days is enormous.  I doubt anything could replace the ties I have made.  The event itself when as smooth as anyone could have hoped, but that was the least of things.  In addition to "running" the gate I went to a plerk workshop, a teddy bear picnic (raverbunny got some!) and learned to use the force.  Inspiration is flowing from me, I must create!

Date: 2009-06-06 09:19 Subject: reading is bad for me Security: Public

the other night i was forced to sit around and do nothing for three hours at work.  i am not saying this was in any way bad mind you, i did get the chance to read a very nice magazine (including articles!)  it prompted me to throw some horrible things into capitalist society's face (or up ass depending on the shape), as well as horrified me with happenings abroad.  now this is the point where you are thinking "here comes another i hate rant", but you are wrong.  i was reading adbusters, it promotes indiscriminately attacking standard capitalist empires while trying to make the reader care for their other humans.  i rather enjoyed it.

what i didn't enjoy was the report on the gaza strip.  not for the way the message was sent, but the message itself.  it looks like another hate-cauldron of racism very much akin to the third reich.  the article explained what it needed to, on a single page, then continued as a 4 page spread of shockingly similar photographs.  yeah, it pissed me off.

but all is well now, hopefully will find some good music and otherworld supplies.  i hope otherworld is still going to happen....

Date: 2009-06-05 09:39 Subject: what a thing, a horrible little thing Security: Public

it is hard for something to encompass me entirely, emotionally and intellectually.  sure, i become enfactuated with things for a while, but it has to be something almost momentous to entrap my gaze for any real length of time.  there are a couple things, those things i have surrounded myself with (and have stayed constant all the while).  of all those things nothing compares to my rabbit.

seriously, jack is the greatest person in my life at the moment, not that my life is bad at all...

Date: 2009-05-29 14:30 Subject: into the darkness i go Security: Public Mood: tired

it seems i cured the sun enough, it will be graves for me for a while.  they canned someone at work, and most likely will again (or keep the other on for the "useless employee quota").   well at least i get to yell at bar stars.

Date: 2009-05-19 15:31 Subject: reverse contemplation Security: Public

compaired to five years ago i can now listen to mgb without feeling sorry for myself, this is mostly due to the fact that matt good reminds me of completely different things now.  the night opus was an illumination, and agrees with my feminine verdict.  it seems many women want to be hurt, because after getting hurt one has to be healed, yes, the lot of you are healing addicts.  the other day i had a dream (in colour) about a woman i used to love with 99% of my soul.  that morning i missed her, and her beauty.  as the days go past, her beauty fades in my memory but her actions refuse to.  i spent about 36 hours being lovesick and wishing for a single evening with her.  i didn't realize i was lying to myself until the end.  i took a night working graveyard, watching the drunks try to get laid by anything close that snapped me out of it.  oddly, this saterday it wasn't the guys trying so hard, it was pretty-looking twenty-something girls falling over old men (and i mean 50-odd).  from my current point of view, there are very few clean girls out there.   sure i think there are many women who deserve to be treated like the angels they are, it is just too bad that they throw shit on themselves.

in other news; BOOM BOOM BOOM.   self-confidence rises, and the want to be around humans lowers in comparison.  the more i like myself the more other people seem fake and insincere.  take the current socially-inclusive project i am helping with.  granted i am accepted on the outside, but i can feel the undercurrent of dislike like a earthquake.  sometimes i wish people wouldn't try to pretend to be nice and just be honest.  well i will get my responsibilities done, and here's a thumb in your eye for the rest.  i honestly want people to tell me that they do not like me, and a descriptive reason why instead of pretending, pretending will piss me off more.

Date: 2009-05-07 14:30 Subject: . Security: Public

*drums*